Are you a leader who can feel anxious at the thought of taking matters into your own hands? If so, you are not alone. There are, however, steps you can take to build your resilience.
I love the quote from Nelson Mandela where he tells us he “learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it”.
Giving hope and stability to your team by letting them see you make decisions and communicating change or action does not mean denying your own fears, but it can be helpful to find ways to release those anxieties. This can include being really listened to by select individuals in a confidential and safe space; or taking time out to relax and focus on something you enjoy and find interesting.
According to historian Nancy Koehn, some of history’s greatest leaders found private outlets for their anxieties when they were uncertain but had to provide hope and stability to their followers. John F Kennedy swam and talked to his brother, whilst Abraham Lincoln sang songs and told raunchy jokes! Ernest Shackleton and his second-in-command, Frank Wild discussed in private worst-case scenarios, so they could address these possibilities, voice their own fears about them, and give each other a boost.
Anxiety can impact your ability to perform at your best and can create a lack of trust in how other’s view your ability to lead. This then becomes a vicious circle with an increase in anxiety which leads to poor performance and so on.
Here are a few simple steps that can help if any of this resonates with you: -
Your mother or university lecturer may have given you this advice, but it really does make a difference. Eat and drink healthily, get regular fresh air and exercise, and get enough sleep. These healthy lifestyle choices will not be news to you but I know first hand when you are busy at work and feeling anxious then these basics can be forgotten which only compounds the situation. Make a conscious effort every day to acknowledge what you are grateful for – perhaps write it down in a notebook or keep a record on your phone and start building a gratitude journal. This can be self-gratitude or gratitude you have received from others. Examples may include giving your time to help someone or being pleased with an email you send to someone. Celebrate even small victories. If multiple concerns are on your mind, decide which one to focus on next, and really focus on that specific issue. Visualise how you would feel if you had fully resolved it. All the focus you place on this issue takes you one step closer to getting to this resolution. Have a confidante. Who do you have that you trust to make time for you. Someone who will listen to understand and not listen to reply. Someone who will not judge, but that will be supportive and help you to get clarity to decide on the next steps. This can be a family member, friend, colleague, or an independent coach. Allowing yourself to enter this space and partnership can be rewarding in your personal as well as your professional life. Make time to enjoy a hobby or interest that allows your mind to focus on something other than work. This can be on your own or with others.These simple 5 steps can increase your resilience and reduce those anxieties so that you develop into the leader you want to be. Finding and regularly practising strategies that work for you will build your resilience and keep you grounded.